We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
