I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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