road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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