i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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