i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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