i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
