I'm jealous of your bromance
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
