On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
