Plan B is the new Plan A
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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