we're blogging at a bar
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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