Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
