I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize