my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
