Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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