In the future we'll all be gay
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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