You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize