Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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