Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
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Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
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I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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