Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
