How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
