I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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