Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I supernannyed him into submission
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
