just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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