he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
