WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
