First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
