Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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