when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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