youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
