I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
