I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
