The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
