a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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