Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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