Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
