absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
