my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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