I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
