Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
