If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
