You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
