i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
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My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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