onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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