I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
