Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
