Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
