Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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