just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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