I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
