Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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