My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She just used a chaser for red wine.
cat food counts as protein by the way
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
