Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
