my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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