I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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