hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize