He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
