I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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