Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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