Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
