I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize