ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize