so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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