I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
