Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
