All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
did i walk over a car last night?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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