Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
