I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
