if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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