id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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